Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
