Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
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