So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Two words: nipple clamps
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