Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
