sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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