i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
