If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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