That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
