can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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