You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
