He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
