The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I am one with the molecules
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
