stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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