Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
