you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
