If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
