Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
