Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
