I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
