My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I supernannyed him into submission
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
