he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
