yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
