1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Randomize
