Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
