Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Please don't give away my fajitas
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
