She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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