i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
the condom got lost in my hair
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
