It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
