So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Randomize
