too bad you live with your parents still
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
