Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
