butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
her vagine was all disorganized.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
