i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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