okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
