U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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