i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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