i barfeds in our rink
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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