My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
I just saw a hot homeless man
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
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