I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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