We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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