he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
A bitchslap is in order.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
