Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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