why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
