So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I FOUND THE LEGS
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
