Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
