after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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