your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
