So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
