a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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