Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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