Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Randomize
