I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
