You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
