I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
